i am having a writer's block...

i think so

not able to write anything and if i do i feel its lousy like this one..................................................................................................................................................................

am a believer  of Hinduism and Buddhism  i cant accept karma. I'd like to think god is ever forgiving and loving and understanding... karma which means u inherit your past deeds seems to be like an act of someone who holds grudge against you or rewards you for yr good actions.

well i've tried to think that karma is like a law introduced by human to ensure human keep good behaviors just like our law system now and during those times may be there is no law so they use karma to do it... well... its just my silly interpretation trying to explain karma....

it gets too complicated for my simple mind that i choose to let go this issue of karma; just do good as much as i can, not because i hope to carry good points for the next life but because i simply believe in it.

am pretty sure all of us feel touched or invoked at any point of time by a certain place or by someone...

recently when i was at cinque terre standing atop of one the terrains overlooking the beautiful clear sea on a sunny day and at the same time having a good view of the beautiful town... i just cant help feeling the creator is really really great....

i felt it then and i still feel it today when i browsed my photographs... and i am reminded of something my friend, jagadish taught me (thanks jagadish!)

Bhagawad Gita 10:41

y a d y a d v i b h u t i m a t s a t t v a m          

s r i m a d u r j i t a m e v a v a                     I

t a t t a d e v a v a g a c c h a t v a m      

m a m a    t e j o m  s a s a m b h a v a  m      II


Literal translation:

"Every such thing which is glorious, brilliant, or powerful, know that to be a

manifestation of a spark of MY splendor"

peace to me is varanasi...  being an active restless soul who hardly can meditate for a couple of minutes; i never know what it means about being peaceful until my travelling took me to a beautiful ancient city called varanasi.

tranquility and peace which I assumed should come from within was to me induced by this land. it was not my interaction with human being nor any act of rituals but merely the act of observation.

many years and thousand miles away; thinking about it ( as I am now) is sufficient to make me capable of conjuring words to form sentences. something i've not been able to for a while..

its not merely peace and calmness.. it was self awakening, self questioning.. it was when i felt there is and there should be a purpose living a life... i did not get any answers then, but the questions were sufficient in guiding my decision making in my life up to date...

i think and I believe i achieved peace with my own self on that day.... its a day when i felt my soul, my physical body and my mind made a pact to work together for a higher purpose...